Notes from Under Ground

Dear Congress

2011-11-17T17:11:00.001-05:00

If pizza is a vegetable, Congress is a fruit.

Doesn't this make Occupy Wall Street's point? In the final agricultural spending bill Congress released Monday, 2 tablespoons of pizza sauce is counted as a full serving of vegetables in the school lunch program. The USDA says that it clearly is not. Why is Congress perpetuating an untruth? But corporate interests want to continue making money selling pizzas to overweight school kids.

I think that the USDA should publish new school lunch rules that call for 2 additional servings of vegetables per lunch, and one less serving of goop and Congressional b.s.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Preface

2011-09-05T00:01:00.001-05:00

Preface from the play, The Trial of George W. Bush, recently published on a Kindle eBook.

Sometime in 2004 I was driving down the road, listening to a lecture on CD in my car. The U.S. had invaded Iraq the year before and it was becoming increasingly apparent to me that the reasons given for the invasion were hubristic lies. I was disappointed, angry, and bursting to do something.

The lecturer on the CD was talking about Aeschylus's Oresteia, a trilogy of Greek tragedies first performed in 458 B.C. In the first play, Agamemnon, the title character was murdered by Clytemnestra, his wife, in part as revenge for the sacrifice of their daughter, Iphigenia, to the Greek goddess Artemis. Agamemnon had done this so he could go slaughter the people of Troy.

The second play, The Libation Bearers, concerned the murder of Clytemnestra by Orestes, her son, in revenge for her murder of his father.

In the third play, The Eumenides, the Furies, Greek spirits of vengeance, tormented Orestes for the murder of his mother. He sought relief from the gods and Athena persuaded the Furies to accept a trial to decide his fate. The Furies prosecuted, the sun god Apollo was the defense attorney, and Athena was the Judge (and a member of the jury!) Orestes was found innocent because of a hung jury and the Furies agreed to forgo seeking vengeance.

The lecturer explained that Aeschylus, the playwright, was arguing that Greece should give up its ancient system of justice based on "blood for blood." The plays presented the blatant horror of murder after murder ravaging a royal family. Aeschylus instead wanted the Greeks to adopt a system of justice based upon courts and litigation, a more civilized scheme.

I considered what Aeschylus would make of George W. Bush, the American President who had invaded Iraq at least in part in revenge for the attack on the World Trade Center. More than 2000 had died on September 11, 2001, but the US invasions of Afghanistan and Iraq had directly or indirectly resulted in the deaths of hundreds of thousands more. Would the Furies torment Bush relentlessly the way they had attacked Orestes? Who would defend him and what would the result of that trial be?

This then was the genesis of this play. Given that it is my wont to be satirical when it comes to politics, the play is peppered with satire, most at Dubya's expense.

But interestingly, as I was writing, the play began to take on a life of its own. Satire and funny courtroom scenes only went so far. There was something far more serious desperately trying to get out.

I reached back to the play's Greek origins and to characters throughout history to present the faces and horror of war, but that wasn't enough. There was little in the play for the audience to identify with. I needed to arouse the audience's sympathies.

So I added to the larger than life, historical characters ordinary people whose personal lives were irrevocably changed by the horrific event that began this century. Their lives became woven into the fabric of the play.

And that was when this became a ghost story.

- Charles S. Cooper, August, 2011

Link to e-Book page on Amazon.

Out of Tragedy comes redemption

2011-08-29T00:01:00.001-05:00

More on my play, The Trial of George W. Bush, published as a Kindle e-Book.

Out of Tragedy comes redemption.

Part political satire, part theatrical drama and part ghost story, The Trial of George W. Bush is an emotional examination of the effect war has upon the innocent and not so innocent.

Inspired by the Greek play, The Eumenides, the stage play follows the prosecution of the American President, George W. Bush, by the Furies, Greek spirits of vengeance, for crimes against history. Interwoven with the courtroom drama is the story of an American family intimately affected by the events of September 11.

With it's roots in Greek mythology and Discordian absurdism, the play examines the rationales for war and the profound impact war's violence has on the human psyche. Characters out of history - a Roman soldier, a Greek king, a woman who worked at the World Trade Center - all give witness to what costs must be paid to wage violence, one peoples against another.

At the heart of the story is one man's quest for redemption after a lifetime of lies and deception, a man who may or may not be the President of the United States, on trial for waging war, for lying to the American people, and for... something else.

Link to e-Book page on Amazon.

The Trial of George W. Bush

2011-08-22T00:01:00.005-05:00

I have taken the plunge into self publishing. (Yeah, I know. I am a few years late on this.)

I have placed my 2005 stage play, "The Trial of George W. Bush," on Amazon as a Kindle e-book. (Only 99 cents.) Part political satire, part historical drama, part ghost story, the play deals with war and responsibility.

If you are not too dogmatic in your political views you might like it. Guaranteed to offend Republicans and Democrats alike!

If you read it please leave a review, good or bad!

Link to e-Book page on Amazon.

The Wisdom of Richard Nixon

2011-08-18T19:52:00.001-05:00

Christine O'Donnell walked out of an interview with Piers Morgan because he dared to ask her views on gay rights. She told him he was "borderline being a little rude."

Once again, following in the footsteps of Sarah Palin who quit her job as governor of Alaska, we find a Tea Party darling quitting when the going got tough.

In the words of Richard Nixon, "If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen." And he wasn't talking a Food Channel reality show here, folks.

Do these people really think being bumptious and huffy qualifies you for political office? Nixon would be ashamed to be a Republican.

A Brave New World

2011-08-11T21:40:00.001-05:00

I am going mobile. See the mandatory tag below this entry. Well, okay, not mandatory. But doesn't it seem like the technology is running us and not the other way around. Or maybe the tech companies are just using us to market their products and display their ads. We are all involuntary tools.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Facebook's Ambition

2011-08-11T10:10:00.003-05:00

Exposing your inner most secrets in the most embarrassing way possible seems to be the goal of every Facebook profile.

In older cultures whole religions were centered around this practice. They called it flagellation back then.

Jobs?

2011-08-07T12:26:00.000-05:00

The Tea Party has an answer for everything!

The Debt Crisis?

2011-07-31T14:12:00.002-05:00

I really wanted to put a tied up Obama on the tracks in front of the elephant and label this the Perils of Pauline. Or maybe Obamaline. Not enough time to redo the cartoon, though.

Not bad for my second painting on the iPad though. Created in just a couple of hours.

Hackers

2011-06-15T19:29:00.000-05:00

Some hackers actually achieve something, but if all a hacker does is deface or DDA a web site, has anything really been achieved? Isn't this the equivalent of writing graffiti on a billboard?

It could be an artistic statement - ala Banksy - but is does it really effect the organization that has been targeted? And when the hack has been deleted, isn't that like when graffiti has been erased. Seems to me that it's more of a juvenile prank than some kind of cyber-militaristic victory.

Weeping Across the Land

2011-05-17T16:08:00.001-05:00

Editorial cartoonists and late night comedians through America are in mourning. Why?

Donald Trump has decided to not run for President.

On the other hand, they had basically said everything there was to say.

Trump ran mainly to shore up the ratings for his reality TV show, Celebrity Apprentice. While it worked for a couple of weeks, eventually the bottom fell out of his ratings.

What surprised me was that the audience for Celebrity Apprentice was so highly skewed Democratic. Trump must have thought that his antics would add a bunch of grizzly moms to his audience. Instead, it seems to have turned off his more liberal base.

Oh, well. It would have been fun listening to him brainlessly spout off on stuff about which he knows nothing. Kind of a comic counterbalance to the toxic rhetoric of modern American opposition politics. On the other hand, the media can now give his hair a rest.

Never confuse movement with action

2011-05-16T17:21:00.000-05:00

In a 1950s conversation with her dear friend Ernest Hemingway, Marlene Dietrich asked his advice about a problem. She had been invited to perform at a Miami nightclub but was not sure she wanted to accept it. It was a lucrative offer, she explained, but her heart was simply not in it. When she thought of turning it down, though, she wondered if she was just "pampering" herself. Her explanation was met with a moment of silence, after which Hemingway said, "Don't do what you sincerely don't want to do." And then he added:

Never confuse movement with action.

Hemingway's words immediately cleared up any doubts that Dietrich was having about the decision. But it was her comment about his advice that has been remembered to history: "In those five words he gave me a whole philosophy."

- Dr. Mardy Grothe, Neverisms: A Quotation Lover's Guide to Things You Should Never Do, Never Say, or Never Forget (HarperCollins, 2011)

Cutting Government Programs

2011-03-07T13:25:00.001-05:00

Maybe it's just me, but I don't see how the solution to there being too many people out of work is to put even more people out of work. Don't see the logic.

Top Ten Rejected Tea Party Slogans

2010-11-22T00:01:00.000-05:00

We would all be better off without all those damn (fill in the blank.)

We don't need the Federal Government for anything but invading other countries anyway.

I'd be rich if only a lot more government employees lost their jobs.

If it is good enough for Wal-Mart, then it is good enough for me!

Take back our country from all those people living in it we disagree with!

I'm not rich and it's all Obama's fault.

If you were stupid enough to believe the banker when you got that mortgage then you deserve to lose your home.

My Country. Love it, leave it, or burn at the stake.

Roll back Government Health Reform! And while we're at it, let's also roll back Social Security, Medicare, the EPA, the FDA, the FBI, the TVA, Public Funded Schools, State and Federal Highways, Evolution and the Rule of Law!

My Country Left the Dark Ages and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt.

Nazism is in the Eye of the Beholder

2010-11-20T00:01:00.001-05:00

Fox News chairman Roger Ailes in an interview with the Daily Beast's Howard Kurtz, said

[The corporate executives at NPR] are, of course, Nazis. They have a kind of Nazi attitude. They are the left wing of Nazism. These guys don't want any other point of view.

Ailes later semi-apologized for his comment in a letter to the Anti Defamation League.

I was of course ad-libbing and should not have chosen that word, but I was angry at the time because of NPR's willingness to censor Juan Williams for not being liberal enough. I'm writing this just to let you know some background but also to apologize for using 'Nazi' when in my now considered opinion, 'nasty, inflexible bigot' would have worked better.

What Ailes meant to say, of course, was that it is the executives at Fox News that are Nazis and those at NPR are actually Communists. But in the heat of the moment it is easy to get those two mixed up.

Mixed Results, Part Two

2010-11-19T00:01:00.001-05:00

Talk about being upset over not getting what you want. We have an Al Gore moment in Alaska.

Joe Miller, the Tea Party candidate for the Senate in Alaska, was defeated by the Republican write-in candidate, Lisa Murkowski. Miller is challenging the results, stating that he is willing to go as far as to ask that all the ballots in Alaska be recounted by hand.

...Joe Miller, the lawyer who defeated Murkowski in the Republican primary, said he has no plans to concede and argued that the race is far from over. In an interview on Fox News, he said that his campaign is looking into whether military ballots were mailed out in a timely manner and that he is seeking to investigate the voting machines. He said he may also request a recount...

- Murkowski claims victory in Alaska Senate race, but Miller vows to fight on, Washington Post, November 18, 2010

"Military ballots were mailed out in a timely manner?" Does this mean that Miller does not want the votes of active military in places like Iraq and Afghanistan to be counted?

Miller's main complaint is that some of the voters writing in Lisa Murkowski's name misspelled her last name. Election officials have ruled that minor misspellings are acceptable if the intent of the voter is clear. This means that if the voters put down "Lisa Miller" or "Joe Murkowski" that the vote doesn't count, but if they wrote in "Liza Murkowski" or "Lisa Murkuvski" it does.

Poor little Joe doesn't get to play with all the other big kids in the Senate?

The election board also points out that the number of disputed ballots is less than the margin Murkowski has over Miller.

So why is Joe acting like a spoiled brat?

"It's not even at this point whether it's a win, lose or draw. It's a question as to whether we have consistency applied at the Division of Elections," he told Fox [News] host Neil Cavuto. "We're going to do this even if there is a significant amount of political pressure for us to pull back and say, 'Don't do this. It's not good for your political future, Joe,' or 'This is a Custer's Last Stand type of thing.' That's not why we're doing this."

- Murkowski claims victory in Alaska Senate race, but Miller vows to fight on, Washington Post, November 18, 2010

Oh, really? That's total bullshit, Joe. You are doing this because you want to be a U.S. Senator despite what the voters said. You are so eager to win, you would disenfranchise anyone who can't spell correctly, or is in uniform, or seek any conceivable technicality to deny Alaskan citizens their right to choose their own political leaders.

This is all about winning. This is nothing about what is right. When the only way you can win an election is to deny others their right to vote, then you, sir, don't deserve to win.

Take a page from political playbook of one Richard Nixon, who chose not to challenge the Presidential election results in 1960, rather than from Al Gore of 2000. Which one eventually ended up being President, Joe?

As a side note, the article in the Washington Post referenced above contained this quote.

[Murkowski] also said in the interview that [Sarah] Palin lacked the "intellectual curiosity" to be president, a rare shot by a fellow Republican against the former vice presidential hopeful.

Now that we have a Republican who is not beholden to the Tea Party, does the truth come out?

::smirk::

Mixed Results

2010-11-18T14:01:00.000-05:00

The mixed verdict in the case of the first Guantanamo detainee to be tried in a civilian court on Wednesday quickly re-ignited a fierce debate over the Obama administration’s effort to restore the role of the traditional criminal justice system in handling terrorism prosecutions.

- "Terror Verdict Tests Obama’s Strategy on Trials" The New York Times, November 18, 2010

“This is a tragic wake-up call to the Obama Administration to immediately abandon its ill-advised plan to try Guantanamo terrorists [in federal civilian courts.] We must treat them as wartime enemies and try them in military commissions at Guantanamo.”

- Representative Peter King, Republican of New York

This man got a fair trail and received 20 years to life, but that is not the result we wanted. We wanted him to go to the chair! Let's not give any other of these so-called "suspects" a civilian trail. Let's send them all to military courts in Guantanamo where we can make sure they get the punishment we demand!

- Representative Peter King, translated into plain English

What is tragic is that some people believe that in order to defend freedom and the American Constitution we must turns our backs on the basic freedoms all peoples, not just Americans, are supposed to enjoy, like fair trails.

Should not Americans in other countries, like, say, Iran, enjoy these basic freedoms? How can we argue that Americans should be treated fairly in foreign courts if we do not treat foreigners fairly here?

So the guy only goes to prison for 20 to life. What's the problem with that? Peter King didn't get the result he wanted so he wants to rig the game? How would he feel if the military court had delivered the same sentence?

Why do I get the feeling that Mr. King is pandering to a very specific, very angry, constituency?

How do you feel? How many pounds of flesh are enough? And how many wartime military commissions will it take before every individual's basic rights can be restored?

Another Sign of the Apocalypse

2010-11-15T10:10:00.000-05:00

Large banks, hedge funds and private investors hungry for new and lucrative opportunities are bankrolling other people’s lawsuits, pumping hundreds of millions of dollars into medical malpractice claims, divorce battles and class actions against corporations — all in the hope of sharing in the potential winnings.

New York Times, Nov 14, 2010

Thomas Aquinas Rebuttal

2010-11-14T21:43:00.000-05:00

"To one who has faith, no explanation is necessary. To one without faith, no explanation is possible."- Thomas Aquinas

"To one who has faith, truth and logic mean nothing. To one without faith, truth and logic are everything." - gnimbley the gnome

The Wayback Machine

2010-10-30T12:08:00.000-05:00

Oh Dunderbeck oh Dunderbeck, how could you be so mean?
I wish you'd never invented that horrible machine,
The pussycats and long-tail rats will never more be seen,
'Cause they're all ground up to sausage meat in Dunderbeck's machine.

I always forget his name.

Conspicuous Excess Amongst Poverty

2010-10-29T11:52:00.000-05:00

"I’m rich and I don’t care what you think."

- Soaring Above India’s Poverty, a 27-Story Home, New York Times, October 28. 2010

Sounds like Rupert Murdock has a soul mate.

America RIP

2010-10-28T20:10:00.000-05:00

When the epitaph of America is written, the given cause for its death will be that greed triumphed over the needs of the future.

Next Tuesday we could easily see where the great American mass is headed, stealing from future generations to feed the impossible fantasy that individual prosperity results from subordinating the rights of the individual to the appetite of the corporate machine. Since when have the rich been the friend of the middle class.

I shudder to think how many Americans have sealed their own doom by believing the clever propaganda of the disingenuous and insatiable. Perhaps we shall get what we deserve.

Happiness

2010-10-18T10:37:00.002-05:00

I have come to the conclusion that happiness is being with the people you love. It's as simple as that.

Things My Mom Said When I Was Little

2010-10-15T13:06:00.000-05:00

I eat my peas with honey
I've done it all my life.
It makes my peas taste funny,
But it keeps them on the knife.

The French...

2010-10-07T13:19:00.000-05:00

...Ban the Burqa

Which, for some reason, they think protects women's rights. I am not sure that anyone's rights are protected by the state deciding what you may and may not wear.

Sure, pass a law saying women can not be forced to wear a burqa, but banning it altogether? Are they afraid women wearing burqas will secretly go without makeup, thereby undermining the French fashion industry?

About as silly as the French crusade against their own wineries.

And in other news, the Belgians ban the bikini. The French, in retaliation, boycott Belgian waffles, thereby setting off a 1930's style trade war.

(Just remember, every time politicians get all hot about some "social issue," it's just to distract you from what they are really doing with your money.)

Question

2010-10-05T20:47:00.000-05:00

Which would be a bigger faux pas for someone panhandling at a freeway off ramp: smoking cigarettes, or talking on your cell phone?

Gnomism

2010-09-08T20:39:00.000-05:00

The only people who believe "money can't buy happiness," are those who don't need money. Or happiness for that matter.

Asteroids

2010-09-08T17:15:00.000-05:00

Another interstellar space gnat tries to tag the Earth and cause mass extinctions like earlier competitors did millions of years ago. Fortunately for life on Earth, their aim is worse than BP's safety record.

Terry Jones

2010-09-07T20:10:00.001-05:00

It seems to me that Rev. Jones' plan to burn Qur'ans in protest of Islam has about as much chance to change peoples' minds as burning Beatles records did back in the 1970's. How'd that work out?

Sacred Branding

2010-09-06T17:45:00.000-05:00

OMG! Burger King is selling out to some evil, private equity firm that includes opportunists from Brazil. Is there nothing sacred anymore in the food industry?

OK, I'm kidding.

Tea Party. John Birch Society. Is There a Difference?

2010-09-01T08:42:00.000-05:00

When I was young we called them the lunatic fringe. These days they are Fox News Personalities.

You can draw a straight line from the Liberty League’s crusade against the New Deal “socialism” of Social Security, the Securities and Exchange Commission and child labor laws to the John Birch Society-Barry Goldwater assault on J.F.K. and Medicare to the Koch-Murdoch-backed juggernaut against our “socialist” president.

Reference: Frank Rich, Op-Ed in the New York Times

Ouch

2010-08-31T09:25:00.000-05:00

...according to the latest Vanity Fair poll, more Americans believe in UFOs than think [Sarah] Palin would make an effective commander-in-chief.

Reference: The 60 Minutes/Vanity Fair Poll

Unapologetic

2010-08-27T00:01:00.002-05:00

It is not a good thing to go through life rude, arrogant, and unapologetic, especially if you eventually are going to need a favor.

The Ground Zero Mosque

2010-08-25T21:15:00.000-05:00

I have read several good commentaries lately about the "Ground Zero Mosque," including these by Frank Rich and Roger Ebert.

It is no coincidence that this is occurring as the election cycle heats up. The furor over Park51 has little to do with Islam and nothing to do with Ground Zero. It's all a political ploy designed to ramp up the rhetoric and noise heading into the biennial elections in the hopes that playing the Islamic Terrorist card once again can elect conservatives to Congress and return America to the policies of George W. Bush and Dick Cheney.

Sound like I am partisan? Not really. I am really only observing what is going on in American politics.

Okay, maybe invoking the names of George W. Bush and Dick Cheney is going too far, but isn't it interesting that merely mentioning the names of the most recent past President and Vice President is seen as a partisan liberal thing to do?

Since 2001 the GOP has trotted out Osama Bin Laden in one guise or another to go "boo" and scare Americans into voting for them as the political party that will use the most forceful measures to secure the lives of Americans. As Frank Rich points out, this campaign tactic may actually have the opposite effect.

In 2008 the economy was so bad that the incumbent party - the GOP - suffered an dramatic defeat. Not only did the Democratic Party capture control of Congress, but an African-American was actually elected President of the United States. (I know. Race doesn't really matter. Still, the GOP has embraced the Old South and made sure that those who have "reservations" about blacks know that the GOP shares their "concerns.")

In 2010, the major political issue should still be the economy. All the polls say that this is the major concern. And while the GOP can make points by pointing out that they are no longer in power and, therefore, not responsible for what is being done about the economy, their political opponents can point out that 1) the Republicans are the ones that brought about this mess, a mess that took many years to create and, therefore, might take several years to undo, and 2) the GOP has done little over the last year but attempt to stall or block everything Obama has tried to do.

So while the economy is always the best issue to have on one's side, the GOP seems to be conceding that campaigning on the economy is a losing issue for them. Thus, illegal aliens in Arizona and Islamic community centers in New York City dominate the news cycle. At least in the media that is controlled by the right in America. Oh, and stuff about where Obama was born (Hawaii) and what religion he practices (Christianity.)

It all comes down to politics and how to win the election in November. It's never about the people or the truth. It's always about electoral victory. It's always about doing whatever it takes to win.

But they never tell you that; they always tell you it 's about something else.

And you buy it every time.

Every election cycle they bring up some divisive, peripheral issue to divert your attention from what is important is order to keep you in line for the election. John Kerry didn't really serve in Vietnam. Barack Obama wasn't born in the United States. Someone is building a mosque at Ground Zero. There is a vast, right wing conspiracy. I did not have sexual relations with that woman.

The people who own your vote depend on you to accept what they are saying without you examining the truth of what they say.

If you ever really looked hard at the propaganda that comes from the political parties - Republican, Democratic, "Tea Party," Libertarian, Socialist, Communist, whatever - if you ever examine them for truth and solid reasoning, you would be shocked at how much of it is pure lie.

You say that isn't possible. They can't get away with that. They can't just lie.

Sure they can. It's protected speech. If it is political speech they can say anything they want and no one can stop them. That's in the Constitution. Freedom of Speech.

Hell, the ACLU will sue anyone who tries to stop them from telling lies, that is how protected political speech is in this country.

(Speaking of the ACLU, here is a link to their petition in support of religious freedom in response to this "Ground Zero Mosque" brouhaha.)

I guess the point I am making is that the propaganda being spewed about over this "mosque" in New York (it is and it isn't a mosque; follow the Park51 link and see for yourself) is just that, political propaganda. And it is not intended to inform you. Or even to permit you to make a appropriate decision about whether or not the "mosque" should be built. At least not one based on your principals of what is right and fair.

What the propaganda is designed to do is stampede you into electing politicians who want to control the reigns of power and acquire the power to tax you and create crimes for which you can be sent to jail. Seriously. That is what the prize is. Oh, and to whom your taxes will be given and from whom taxes will be collected. Just minor stuff like that.

My question is, are these politicians acting in your best interest, or in theirs? Are they telling you the truth? Or are they saying whatever it takes to get elected?

Are you going to bother to find out if what they say is the truth? Or are you going to be the good, little sheep and just accept whatever they say.

I think you know where I stand.

Freedom

2010-08-20T00:01:00.001-05:00

Freedom may not be free...

...but selling your soul to the devil is.

Bear Runs

2010-08-18T00:01:00.001-05:00

I have a friend whose brother is gay and he explained to me what a bear run is.

I don't think I really wanted to know.

Living in a ‘Post-Racist’ Society

2010-08-17T20:27:00.000-05:00

...hatred, intolerance and discrimination based on race are no longer racist...

Living in a ‘Post-Racist’ Society by Tina Dupuy. Required reading for gnomes.

Artificial Meat

2010-08-16T12:46:00.001-05:00

Can Soylent Green be far away?

Artificial meat grown in vats may be needed if the 9 billion people expected to be alive in 2050 are to be adequately fed without destroying the earth, some of the world's leading scientists report today....

Many low-tech ways are considered to effectively increase yields, such as reducing the 30-40% food waste that occurs both in rich and poor countries. If developing countries had better storage facilities and supermarkets and consumers in rich countries bought only what they needed, there would be far more food available.

But novel ways to increase food production will also be needed, say the scientists. Conventional animal breeding should be able to meet much of the anticipated doubling of demand for dairy and meat products in Asia and sub-Saharan Africa, but this may not be enough.

Instead, says Dr Philip Thornton, a scientist with the International Livestock Research Institute in Nairobi, two "wild cards" could transform global meat and milk production. "One is artificial meat, which is made in a giant vat, and the other is nanotechnology, which is expected to become more important as a vehicle for delivering medication to livestock."...

One of the gloomiest assessments comes from a team of British and South African economists who say that a vast effort must be made in agricultural research to create a new green revolution, but that seven multinational corporations, led by Monsanto, now dominate the global technology field.

"These companies are accumulating intellectual property to an extent that the public and international institutions are disadvantaged. This represents a threat to the global commons in agricultural technology on which the green revolution has depended," says the paper by Professor Jenifer Piesse at King's College, London.

"It is probably not possible to generate sufficient food output or incomes in much of sub-Saharan Africa to feed their population at all adequately … For least developed countries there are prospects of productivity growth but those with very little capacity will be disadvantaged."

- Artificial meat? Food for thought by 2050, John Vidal, The Guardian, Monday 16 August 2010

The Army of the Republic

2010-08-16T00:01:00.015-05:00

I have barely started this novel, but...

We first met McFarland's group stalking out the regional office of America's foremost war profiteer. They were doing a street-person gig that Tonk made on the third day. Once he was sure it wasn't a brownshirt, he went up to the phony bum and held out a buck. "Here you go, buddy. Take this and buy yourself a good book on surveillance." That was the beginning of our relationship. After a couple of weeks of sniffing each other's privates, we went up the chain to the man who called himself McFarland. A tall man with a sandy crew cut, he was slim but very fit, a martial arts nut that had a picture of himself smashing a foot-thick block of ice with the palm of his hand. He was a veteran of the Raq, the Ran, and the Stans, had seen his buddies wither away after the wars from a cocktail of depleted uranium and bad juju that the Regime refused to diagnose. "Call it Crybaby Syndrome," said one pundit. Benefits would not be paid to "victims" of Crybaby Syndrome. I think that put McFarland over the edge.

The Army of the Republic, Stuart Archer Cohen, St. Martin's Press, 2008, New York

Nails

2010-08-13T00:01:00.003-05:00

The only time I notice a woman's nails is when they are digging into my back.

Observation at the mall watching women gravitate to a nail salon.

National Security Letters

2010-08-11T18:39:00.000-05:00

A man of courage is hard to find. Do yourself a favor and read this.

Net Neutrality

2010-08-10T18:38:00.000-05:00

Google and Verizon have put forth a proposal to "prevent" discrimination among users on the Internet by discriminating among users on the Internet. They want two Internets, one for those who can pay and one for the rest of us.

Reminds me of General Westmoreland saying that it was necessary to destroy a village in Vietnam in order to save it.

Both Google and Verizon say that they will respect the interests of ordinary people. Both of them will abide by this until such time as it is more profitable to not abide by this.

One day, mark my words, those who provide the "free" Internet will sell off that business to concentrate on the "pay" Internet. They will claim to do this solely for "business" reasons.

Eventually the "free" Internet will go the way of dial-up, only provided by small, under financed entities who use them as cash cows into which they need put no further investment.

It was a wonderful time when communication was unfettered by the need to post ever increasing quarterly earnings, wasn't it?

Abercrombie & Fitch

2010-08-06T00:01:00.002-05:00

Far be it from me to tell the marketing geniuses at Abercrombie & Fitch what to do, but I just thought I'd point out that naked people don't wear clothes and therefore have no need to buy any.

Observation from the Mall

Sense of Humor

2010-08-04T08:56:00.000-05:00

Sens. Tom Coburn, R-Okla., and John McCain, R-Ariz., object to stimulus money funding a project at Northwestern University to teach a computer to tell jokes. If this computer were in the same room with those two gentlemen, only one entity in the room would have a sense of humor.

Write or Die

2010-08-02T00:01:00.000-05:00

Cycles

2010-07-30T12:07:00.003-05:00

The only good thing about riding a motorcycle without a helmet is that you are less likely to pass your genes onto the next generation.

Back in Business

2010-07-29T14:13:00.000-05:00

After shutting down the blog because I didn't have anything I wanted to say, I have reopened for business.

Just too much juicy going on out there, and I am disenchanted with Twitter. After all it appears that I missed the entire BP fiasco, and what better material for a sarcastic gnome? You'd think I would know better than to shut up at a time like this.

The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown

2009-10-31T21:08:00.003-05:00

Just finished reading The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown, sequel to The Davinci Code.

This is a decent novel, what you would expect from Dan Brown. It follows his formula, not as slavishly as The Davinci Code followed Angels and Demons, but recognizable. Robert Langdon, a girl, puzzles, religious overtones, a nasty killer etc. This book is a lot more dependent on the plot twists and turns than on the puzzles.

My quibbles with the book are as follows.

Slow to Develop. It took some time to get into the book. It didn't really become compelling until about 2/3 of the way through. (See next point.)

Too Much Info Dump. Especially during the first third of the novel, Brown sends a lot of time feeding us tons of information about the Masonic Order. While some of it is necessary for the nuances of his plot, a lot of it is just wall papering to keep from telegraphing his twists and turns. All the time he is info dumping, he is not moving the story forward.

Contrived in Parts. I was not convinced sometimes by the actions of some of the characters. Their actions seemed designed more to fit into a preconceived plot framework rather than the result of the motivations of the characters. For instance, in one scene the characters are running away from a powerful adversary, and they escape, essentially, from one building only to stop in the next building to conduct a scientific experiment. Why didn't they keep on running until they were further away?

Also, most of the major characters suffer severe, life threatening injuries. Yet moments later they are running around acting like nothing happened. Shades of Padme Amidala falling out of a speeding flyer in Star Wars, Episode 2.

Finally, the ending is anti-climatic, and Brown searches around for a while, trying to bring closure to the novel. He goes on much too long, with some unnecessary theatrics, and finally ends up with some pseudo-spiritualistic, feel-good hugging on the top of the U.S. Capitol.

Still, it's about what you expected. Some nice twists and turns, some puzzles, a bit of religious "secret history," and competent writing. Recommended for fans.

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

2009-10-18T09:31:00.003-05:00

The Frontier Foundation, a scholarship fund U.S. Rep. Steve Buyer (Republican - Indiana) started six years ago, has raised more than $800,000 in the past six years but has yet to award its first scholarship.

It has, however, paid for Rep. Buyer to play golf in the Bahamas and other places with Frontier Foundation donors, almost all of whom are "from 20 companies and trade organizations that have interests before the House Energy and Commerce Committee on which Buyer serves."

Oh, and it has given out about $10,000 in donations to other organizations, like the National Rifle Association and a cancer fund run by the chief lobbyist for Indianapolis based Eli Lilly and Company.

Buyer's response is to quote a line from Wicked: "No good deed goes unpunished."

Indiana Democratic Party Chairman Dan Parker reaction to Buyer's remark is "Where's the good deed, if they haven't given out any scholarships?"

Soource: Indianapolis Star, Oct. 18, 2009

Obviously, Rep. Buyer believes his constituents either will not notice or do not care that he abuses the concept of charity for his own personal benefit. And we expect politicians like this to actually do right by the American people while they are in office? Could he send any louder message that he is a crook?

Stalker's Best Friend

2009-09-22T19:34:00.004-05:00

Recently on a cross country plane flight, having nothing much to do, I leafed through the SkyMall shopping catalog on in the seat pocket.

I came across this, and I must say, this is the greatest advance for stalkers since the binoculars. Just surreptitiously tuck one of these into your chosen one's car and start building your dossier of his/her habits. And if your boss is totally controlling, this is a MUST Christmas gift.

Can we make it any easier for disturbed minds?

Bourbon, or whatever

2009-08-27T21:40:00.004-05:00

A lot of famous writers have had a problem with alcohol. Dashiell Hammett comes to mind.

I totally understand. For some reason I seem to be a lot better when I am buzzed than when I am sober. And Bourbon is particularly good at freeing the inner creative me.

I just wish I could spell worth a damn when I am drunk.

Thank God for spell checkers.

Water into Whine

2009-08-20T13:22:00.004-05:00

Here's a link to a Birther equating the alleged sale of counterfeit wine to the failure of Obama to release a laundry list of personal, confidential documents to the media, not just his birth certificate. I'll wait right here while you see what wine has to do with Obama's brth certificate.

Amused Cynic, Cruel, but fair

The point to his comparison between Michael Broadbent and Barack Obama seems to be that the news media was so enthusiastic about Obama being elected President that they deliberately failed to probe Obama's qualifications, including, among other things, his middle school report cards and the source of the money to pay his tuition fees at Harvard Law School.

(Excuse me, but when did Fox News, the Washington Times and the National Review become liberal establishment media. Or doesn't he consider them to be news organizations? I mean, if the media failed to take Obama to task, doesn't that mean Fox News failed to do it, too?)

The source of the Amused Cynic's information about all this missing information is an article in the American Thinker by Kyle-Anne Shiver.

You Might Be a Birther if...

I have a few quibbles with Shiver's arguments. I will take them one at a time.

Shiver admonishes Obama for not releasing his "Panahou Academy school records, 5th through 12th grades."

Do people really keep their middle school report cards? If Shiver is talking about the school's records what would they consist of other than grades? Do we really grade a politician on what he got in wood shop? Do we really want the national debate to revolve around some comment a teacher wrote about a ten year old kid thirty years ago?

"No man or woman in this Country today could successfully apply for a high-level executive position with any corporation without submitting this meager documentation to prove the statements made in a job application."

Meager documentation? I didn't realize that to get hired as a Vice President of JP Morgan Chase or Microsoft you had to produce your high school transcript. Does General Motors really care what grade Edward E. Whitacre Jr. got in Social Studies? Did Richard Clark have to have better than average grades in 5th grade to get his job at Merck?

If you have disciplinary action taken against you in high school for any reason are you forever forbidden to have a "high-level executive position with any corporation."

I wonder how Bill Gates and Steve Jobs did in gym. Maybe they failed naps in kindergarten. Does anyone really care?

Shiver also wonders "... how a student who never wrote anything (that can be found) was elected president of the prestigious law review..."

I have news for you, Ms. Shiver, writing and editing are two different skill sets. (But would you know about that?)

How did Obama do as the editor of the Harvard Law Review? That should be easy to figure out. All you would have to do is read the journal. You know, kind of like checking out his qualifications.

What really disturbs me about both of these pieces is the following statement:

"... Harvard University records... including information on how Harvard Law School was afforded by humble community agitator, Barack Obama."

If what we are talking about here is Barack Obama's qualifications to be President of the United States, then the implication in this statement is that Obama may not be qualified to be President because of the manner in which he financed his education. that there must be something nefarious about it, like he got the money from the mob or from the Illuminati or something.

We all know where he got the money. From scholarships. Obama was probably the beneficiary of affirmative action. He probably got some money from the government, some from Harvard, and some from private scholarship funds. Friends and families also most likely chipped in. Student loans covered the rest. Where do kids who don't have money get funding for college anyway?

Where do Ms. Shiver and Amused Cynic think the money came from? Osama Bin Laden? The NAACP? The AFL-CIO? Yale? The Council on Foreign Relations? Grannies for a Socialist America? Give me a break.

What is being implied here (nudge, nudge; wink, wink) is that if you can not finance your own way through Harvard, then you must not be qualified to be President of the United States. Only the wealthy and privileged are qualified to be President.

And it is only a half step from there to the proposition that people of color need not apply. That goes for you white trash, too.

This type of argument is the intellectual underpinning to all types of specious arguments. That certain groups of people are better than others. That some people should know their place. That it's okay to shoot up a Holocaust Museum or bomb the Oklahoma City Federal Office Building. Maybe that last comparison is a half step too far, but not in the minds of the people who desperately want to force this country to take a full step back into the days before affirmative action.

Amused Cynic. Cruel, but fair, but apparently not balanced.

(Of course, Obama's main qualification for President of the United States was that he is not George W. Bush. Beyond that, in 2008, you didn't need a whole lot.)

Quote of the Day

2009-08-16T10:50:00.001-05:00

By a curious confusion, many modern critics have passed from the proposition that a masterpiece may be unpopular to the other proposition that unless it is unpopular it cannot be a masterpiece.
- G. K. Chesterton

Birthers

2009-08-13T18:26:00.002-05:00

My question for birthers is this: If you are willing to believe that Obama is not a natural born citizen and, therefore, is an illegitimate President, why are you not willing to believe that the Illuminati is responsible for manipulating world governments and controls everything?

Or do you believe that?

The Evil Empire Hits a Bump in the Road

2009-08-12T18:47:00.002-05:00

A Judge on Tuesday ordered Microsoft to stop selling its popular Word document creation application in the United States in 60 days, after finding that the software contains technology that violates a patent held by a third party.

Information Week, August 12, 2009

This prohibition will last about thirty minutes. These kind of things are more a full employment act for lawyers than a true search for justice.

But are you surprised?

The Brickyard

2009-07-24T15:02:00.003-05:00

NASCAR is in Indianapolis for their big race at the indianapolis Motor speedway. I was at the Speedway Thursday for a fundraiser and award ceremony for Lyn St. James' Women in the Winner Circle Foundation.

I noticed driving there that all the signage at the Speedway says the "Allstate 400 at the Brickyard." Obviously Allstate has paid the Speedway and/or NASCAR for naming rights. But I noticed on ESPN today, which is broadcasting the race, that they call it the "Brickyard 400," and there was no mention of Allstate.

I guess if you want Disney to mention your name you have to pay off the mouse, too.

Sportsnation

2009-07-23T15:50:00.003-05:00

ESPN has this new show, Sportsnation, which is preempting my two favorite TV shows, Around the Horn and Pardon the Interruption, this week. (I am a big fan of Tony Kornheiser.)

ESPN invents a lot of vapid, juvenile junk when there isn't a lot of sports to cover. Witness their "Who is the Most Now" promotion from a few years ago and this year's "Who is on each state's Mount Rushmore of Sports."

These are barroom games. You and a buddy have had a few beers and you waste some time away by saying, "Which sports figure would you put on a Mount Rushmore of Sports?" You can argue about it while you sock away a few more beers.

That's all these things are, something to do while you sock away a few more beers, or in ESPN's case, to separate the beer commercials so it doesn't appear so much that ESPN is just one long beer commercial (which on a certain level is all it is.)

Michelle Beadle and Colin Cowherd headline this latest attempt at keeping you from switching channels between commercials. Michelle is there because she is a babe. I know she is trying hard to make a career out of being a good sportscaster, but let's face it, the only reason she is on this show is because she's a babe.

Cowherd is one of those show off, know-it-all jerks whom everyone pretends to like because they want to appear cool, but who secretly thinks is just a show off, know-it-all jerk.

The format is stolen straight from sports talk radio (which Cowherd does for ESPN around lunchtime.) An either or question is posed ("Should Michael Vick be allowed to play in the NFL?"), the hosts give a quick take on the question, the audience votes online and then their "answer" is revealed. Sometimes internet comments are read aloud.

Sound familiar? It's like being in a bar listening to a bunch of over lubricated, over opinionated louts spout off about sports, or a sports radio call in show. It's just some pandering pablum designed to fill time between beer commercials.

Give me back Kornheiser and Wilbon, dammit.

Senator Ice

2009-07-23T08:59:00.003-05:00

Republican precinct committee members elected Scott Schneider, former Indianapolis City-County Council member and vice president of sales and marketing for Mister Ice of Indianapolis, to fill a vacancy in the Indiana senate. In Indiana such vacancies are filled by the party appointment rather than by the governor or a special election.

Somehow it is fitting that the Republican Party selected "Mister Ice" to represent them. No warm hearted liberals need apply.

Does anyone believe there won't be a fight over the estate?

2009-07-01T16:22:00.003-05:00

Watching CNN in the locker room at the gym. Apparently yesterday, Michael Jackson's family said there would be a 30 car motorcade to take MJ's body to Neverland for public viewing. Today they announced it won't happen. The "news" commentator asked the rhetorical question, what changed in the last 24 hours?

What changed was that details of MJ's will were released this morning and his family discovered they aren't going to have access to his money. It's all going into a trust for his children. When the family learned they would have to pay for the whole carnival out of their own pockets, of course it got called off.

And now the final soap opera of Michael Jackson's tragic life begins.

Don't kid yourself. It's all about the money.

Thoughts about Iran

2009-06-21T18:46:00.003-05:00

A lot of people have been changing their profile on Twitter to make it appear that they are from Iran in hopes that this helps Iranian dissidents. The Iranian government was interfering with Twitter accounts from Iran and by adding a lot of non-Iranian accounts to the mix, the task of censoring Twitter, so the argument goes, would be too difficult for the "primitive" Iranian government.

Of course, now Iran is just banning Twitter, so this doesn't do any good at all.

I hate to tell you this, but the "revolution" in Iran is not going to get any further than the 1989 "revolution" in China. (Remember Tiananmen Square?)

Of course Iran blames the US. Everyone always looks for an external enemy on which to blame domestic problems. Nazi Germany blamed the Jews. The U.S. blames Islamic extremists. The tactic is several thousand years old (read the Bible) and it always works. It doesn't matter that it is all lies, it always works.

The "revolution" in Iran is over. The "opposition" has lost. I wish there was something I could do that would make a difference, but there isn't.

I had thought about starting a Twitter account under the name Ayatollah Khomeini and posting such messages as "Did the prophet say you must live in fear?" and "Where in the Koran does it say that the government has the right to oppress the people?' etc. But since no one in Iran will ever read such things, why bother? Besides, I would have to have it all translated into Persian. Logistical nightmare.

Part of the reason that this revolution is doomed is that Iran is not ready for revolution. It is too introspective, too conservative. A revolution, at least the type envisioned by young Western liberals, requires a willingness to leap into the unknown.

Allowing the people to decide the fate of a nation requires the willingness to accept mistakes, Look at the US. We make horrible mistakes (George W. Bush, for example.) But we recover from these mistakes. The people, interested only in their self interest, stagger from one extreme to another. And in doing so, achieve some sort of balance. They bounce back and forth between one extreme and the other. First George W. Bush. Then Barack Obama.

That's freedom. That's the beauty of American style democracy. We can have both George Bush AND Barack Obama.

But Iran can't. Their establishment is unwilling to risk letting the people decide, because they are afraid the people will make the wrong decision. That's the difference between the US and Iran. The US CAN risk having the people make the wrong decision. BECAUSE if it is the wrong decision, the people can change their mind and take the country in the opposite direction. And if that goes too far, the people take the country back, elect new leaders, and go staggering off in the other direction.

But Iran does not have faith in its people. Iran doesn't understand that while the people make mistakes, they always correct themselves. In Iran, everything must be perfect. Everything must be according to Allah's plan. Nothing can go wrong.

And, therefore, everything is wrong.

Iran can not correct itself. One ideological party had control of Iran and it will never admit to its mistakes. Look at what Ayatollah Khamenei has said. He knows there have been irregularities in the voting, but he can not believe that it is possible that the ruling cabal could actually lose the election. He can't believe that the people want something different. He can't accept that the people think he is wrong.

And so it goes. Until finally, there is violence unimaginable.

That's the future of Iran. When finally there is violence unimaginable, there will be change. that is the only way it will happen. A lot of people will have to die. A lot of blood will have to be shed. The Iranian elite will not give up power except through force of arms.

Unless, of course, it goes the way the Soviet Union went. But the Soviet Union collapsed because it was exhausted. Has the Iranian fundamentalist revolution finally exhausted itself? I don't think so. It has a ways to go.

Anarchos

2009-05-26T21:31:00.002-05:00

I have noticed a marked increase in people blowing through red lights and stop signs, and ignoring white lines in the highway. When the basic rules like traffic laws break down, can the rest of civilization be far behind?

The Shrinking Republican Party

2009-04-29T21:55:00.003-05:00

Arlen Specter left the Republican Party. Why? Because he said polls showed he couldn't win the Republican primary when he next has to run for the Senate. (Maybe term limits are not such a bad idea.)

What did Arlen see in those polls? Probably that the GOP is shrinking into a coterie of religious right zealots who would rather remain wedded to the faith than get elected.

I believe there is a battle going on for control of the Republican Party. The recent "tea bag" protests were an attempt by the fiscal conservatives to assert primacy. They flexed their muscles, not so much to derail Obama's legislation, but to push down their rivals within the GOP.

Their major opponent is Sarah Palin and the religious right, who have been on the assent since the election. With God on their side, they believe now is their time to seize the Republican Party and eventually to assume control of the US Government.

The balance of power may lie with the ideological conservatives. They have tried to use the religious right to provide manpower for the campaigns but keep them out of any position of real power. The right probably will not accept this any more.

The ideological conservatives have to decide if they are going to sleep with the religious right or the fiscal conservatives.

If they join with the religious right, they risk becoming an emasculated wing of a smaller, more rigid GOP. The fiscal conservatives probably will join an expanded, yet still ineffective, Libertarian Party.

If the fiscal and ideological conservatives join, the GOP will probably split into two parties, a Christian party and a Conservative party. Anyone's guess which one keeps the name Republican.

But either scenario means the GOP's political power is seriously waning. Arlen Specter knows the ship is sinking and is likely the first of many to jump overboard.

Republican Budget Proposal

2009-04-02T05:36:00.002-05:00

The media has been all awash with the House Republicans' alternative budget proposal. The GOP says the Democrat proposal is a disaster and have positioned their version as the responsible alternative.

Aren't these the same people, almost to a man (and token non-man), who have been telling anyone who will listen that they want Barack Obama to fail? And they want us to take them seriously when they say their proposal is responsible?

Why would you want to saddle the government, the entity that we are desperately hoping will rescue us from the worse economy since the Great Depression, with a budget designed by people who want the government to fail? Sounds a bit irresponsible to me.

Is this something you would do in real life? (As opposed to political fantasy.)

Would you accept something from someone who wishes to do you harm? Say, accept a ride from a known serial killer? Rush into a burning building because your spouse with whom you are locked in a contentious divorce says the floor won't collapse for a while yet? Place bets in a casino you saw featured on Sixty Minutes in a story about how all their games are fixed?

Are you that stupid?

What Does Rush Want?

2009-03-09T19:14:00.002-05:00

Rush Limbaugh has said, unapologetically, that he hopes Obama fails.

So what does that mean he hopes for you and me?

Limbaugh on Obama

2009-01-30T17:52:00.000-05:00

W(h)ine

2009-01-29T13:08:00.002-05:00

Okay. Now I am confused.

In the January 29th edition of the Sacramento Bee, Jon Fredrikson, consultant, is quoted as saying:

U.S. wine consumption rose last year even as the recession took hold. Wine was a relative bright spot during a wretched 2008 holiday season for retailers, with sales growing 5.3 percent, according to industry consultant Jon Fredrikson. Source

But in the January 28th edition of the Santa Rosa Press Democrat, the same Jon Fredrikson is quoted as saying:

U.S. wine sales grew in 2008 at their slowest pace this decade as the deepening recession curbed consumers’ enthusiasm for fine wine, according to figures released Wednesday.

Total wine sales increased by less than 1 percent last year to 316 million cases, a new record.

But the 2.1 million case increase was the smallest of the decade, a clear sign that wine drinkers are cutting back in response to the weakening economy, analyst Jon Fredrikson told wine executives at the annual Unified Wine & Grape Symposium in Sacramento. Source

Geez. Not even the experts know what's going on. I think I'll go have a beer.

President Obama

2008-10-21T22:51:00.004-05:00

I hope you are prepared for Obama to be the next President of the United States.

It appears to me, barring anything weird, that Obama will win.

I base this on two things:

First, the apparent desperation tactics of the McCain campaign (suspending the campaign twice, picking a virtual unknown as Vice President; "relaunching" the campaign last week). These are not acts of a candidate who thinks he has a realistic chance to win.

And Second: While this is totally anecdotal, I have talked to random persons in the last few weeks, all of whom seem to lean Republican and all of whom have said that they are voting for Obama or, at least, are disinclined to vote for the Republicans. They don't mention McCain. It is always the Republicans they can't vote for.

I think people are tired of George W. Bush, and by extension, the Republican party.

And because of that, I think Obama is going to win the election in a "Reaganesque" landslide. (Think electoral college.)

Of course, what the hell do gnomes know about elections?

Sarah

2008-10-02T08:52:00.003-05:00

I guess I should lay off Sarah Palin. She can't help being who she is, a small town politician whose ambition has exceeded her experience. Alaska is not the United States, only a small part of it, and her trying to cram for the election must be like trying to go from Middle School to the entrance exams for Harvard Law School in just six weeks.

The one at fault here is McCain. He is obviously so desperate to win, that he bought the idea of shaking everything up with Palin. Too bad he didn't think about it a little longer.

I believe that McCain's campaign must of thought that the election was lost, that McCain was going to lose, unless something unexpected happened that totally changed things. They sold Palin to McCain as something dramatically unexpected. Well, they were right about that, but they were wrong about it is good for McCain.

So, thanks for the laughs, Sarah. Sorry they had to be at your expense. By all accounts you are a decent person who believes she is doing well. Just keep your fingers off the nuclear weapons, okay?

Financial Meltdown!! Woo! Woo!

2008-10-01T23:00:00.002-05:00

I have been trying hard to not pay attention to the hysteria in Congress. It smacks of an obvious ploy to distract us from something we should be paying attention to. Like, what is the government's role in times of potential disaster.

If New Orleans is any example, the role of government is to ignore the problem. Right?

And why do I feel like Congress is trying to do the same thing here?

When major banks start disappearing right before our eyes, something is seriously wrong. Seriously wrong. Like 1929 wrong.

Even the administration is in panic mode. An administration that has been more pro-big business than any administration in, well, my lifetime any way (and that's 57 years.)

Something has to be done to restore confidence among professional investors in the system. If not, then they can and will take the system down. And if I need to explain the consequences of that, you need to go to the library and read up on the origins of World War II.

Okay?

So why hasn't anything been done? Because a small group of "professional" conservative money gurus are actively haranguing their listeners to harass Congress to stop the bailout. I actually heard one of them on the radio say that if the Government bails out Wall Street we will have National Socialism in this country.

National Socialism = Nazis, in case you didn't know.

Please refer to my early paragraph where I beg you to read up on the origins of World War II. The Nazis did not come to power as a result of someone trying to prevent financial collapse, they came to power as a result of the financial collapse. It wasn't that something was done; it was because nothing effective was done.

And there is nothing more effective at insuring that a solution is ineffective than delaying it until it is too late.

Sometimes you have to wonder what these conservative money gurus and their fellow travelers in Congress, who we have to admit are very intelligent people, and also very rich, want for America.

If the financial sector collapses, America will be in the position Germany of the 1930's was in. You know what happened to Germany.

Do you want it to happen here?

Are you sure the people telling you not to save Wall Street don't know what might happen here?

Or is it that they do know?

Sarah Palin Rocks!!

2008-09-29T17:52:00.003-05:00

Why do I get the feeling that the same guys who talked John McCain into picking Sarah Palin as his Vice President are the same guys who talked Bill Gates into making those Windows commercials with Jerry Seinfeld?

It would be funny if it weren't so sad.

BTW, the title of this entry, that's called satire.

McCain Saves America

2008-09-26T08:11:00.002-05:00

Let's see.

1. Wall Street goes into the tank.
2. The Federal Government steps in to save us all.
3. The White House and Congress negotiate a $700 billion bail out plan.
4. President Bush summons McCain and Obama to the White House for a photo op.
5. The plan is then scuttled by Congressional Republicans, thereby threatening to destroy us all.
6. McCain, who has dramatically suspended his campaign, steps in and negotiates a settlement between Republicans and Republicans.
7. The country is saved.
8. McCain is once again the hero.

Couldn't have worked out better if it were scripted.

Oh, wait...

Oh, by the way, since I live in Indiana, and Indiana is next to Illinois, Michigan and Ohio, three states that all have professional baseball teams, I am now an expert on baseball. Ask me anything.

Alaska: Land of Diplomats

2008-09-25T19:43:00.001-05:00

Who needs foreign policy experience? Just move to Alaska. Then you'll know all you need to know to start World War III.

How Seriously Out of Touch is John McCain?

2008-09-22T19:30:00.004-05:00

John McCain is complaining (as I saw on Fox News earlier today) that the Financial Sector Bailout will be under the control of just one person - the Secretary of the Treasury. I am not sure that is true, but okay.

John McCain wants to increase the number of people who have to agree before the $700 billion to $1 trillion in US Government funds can be used. And he wants it to be bipartisan.

Putting aside the question "Isn't it because we have had too many people with personal agendas who been able to screw around with legislation that brought us to this crisis?" we have to ask, if there has to be a committee that is going to save us from the worse financial crisis since the Great Depression, who should be on that committee?

John McCain has suggested that the committee should be bipartisan so he has proposed Warren Buffet as the Democrat and New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg as the independent to balance the Republican Secretary of the Treasury.

Excuse me?

Warren Buffet is, according to Forbes Magazine, the richest man in the world and owns dozens of corporations.

Bloomberg, the eighth richest man in America, ran for office as a Republican. He can only be considered as an independent because he considered bolting the GOP to run for President.

This is what McCain considers to be balanced, bipartisan representation? Two of the ten richest men in America? Both of whom who can seriously be considered as advocates for the "Republican" status quo?

Where's the representation of small business? labor? the poor and homeless? Where is the representative of the people really being hurt by this crisis?

Why does John McCain think that only the richest Americans should be allowed to have a voice in these times?

Why does John McCain think only fat cats can solve the problems created by fellow fat cats?

How stupid does John McCain think we are?

To paraphrase Kanye West: "John McCain doesn't cart about ordinary people."

Apparently, like George W. Biush, John McCain thinks only rich people count.

I Worry

2008-09-18T21:10:00.002-05:00

I worry that sometime in the next four years, someone who believes that the End Times are coming in her lifetime will have control of the largest nuclear arsenal in the world, and may well believe that it is her destiny to fulfill the scriptures by using them to begin the destruction of the world.

Caribou Barbie

2008-09-16T18:49:00.003-05:00

Sarah Palin claims to be qualified to be a heart beat away from the Presidency because she (1) was mayor of Wasilla, Alaska; and (2) is Governor of Alaska.

It is difficult for me to judge her qualifications since I do not live in Alaska and have no real concept as to the magnitude of the job she was doing. So I thought I would make some comparisons to jobs of similar magnitude to see if, indeed, she is qualified to be Vice President of the United States.

According to the US Census Bureau, Wasilla had a population in 2000 of 5,469 and in 2006 an estimated population of 9.236. Since I live in Indiana, I figure I would see what cities had, according to the US Census Bureau, a population in 2000 of at least 5,469 and in 2006 no more than 9.236. You can do this exercise with your state.

Here is the list. Cities in Indiana comparable to Wasilla, Alaska

Monticello
Rushville
Garrett
Linton
Gas City
Alexandria
Huntingburg
Scottsburg
Portland
Rensselaer
Batesville
North Vernon
Rochester
Salem
Hartford City
Boonville
Nappanee
Mount Vernon
Tell City
Angola
Columbia City
Charlestown
Brazil
Elwood

Each of these cities has an entry in Wikipedia. Look them up. The mayors of all of them are a small time politicians.

By the way, there are sixty-three (63) cities in Indiana LARGER than Wasilla.

According to the US Census Bureau, the population of Alaska (2006 estimate) is 670,053.

Here is the list of cities with populations greater than Alaska.

New York, New York
Los Angeles, California
Chicago, Illinois
Houston, Texas
Phoenix, Arizona
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
San Antonio, Texas
San Diego, California
Dallas, Texas
San Jose, California
Detroit, Michigan
Jacksonville, Florida
Indianapolis, Indiana
San Francisco, California
Columbus, Ohio
Austin, Texas
Fort Worth, Texas
Memphis, Tennessee
Charlotte, North Carolina

Running these cities is no cakewalk, but how many of these mayors would be qualified to be in control of the largest arsenal of nuclear weapons in history?

Just thought I would put Sarah in perspective.

Anyone want to guess why the McCain campaign hasn't let Palin (outside of that one ABC interview) talk to the press?

::pouts::

2008-07-14T15:28:00.001-05:00

EB&G is down. All I get is a message saying "No input file specified." Poor, poor, pitiful me.

I Worry

2008-05-11T19:50:00.002-05:00

Sometimes you have to wonder, do you really want a President who doesn't have a firm grasp on reality, who can't read the writing on the wall, who doesn't know when it is time to cut losses and admit defeat? Is obsessed determination at all costs really a desirable trait in a leader?

Does anyone really care?

I worry.

I worry...

2008-05-08T19:11:00.001-05:00

I worry that Marvin Harrison has played his last down as a professional football player.

Attention Future! Philip K. Dick is Calling!

2008-05-04T19:37:00.002-05:00

Researchers have developed a way to measure how the human brain reacts to pictures—and to predict what images people are gazing at.

- Science News, March 15, 2008, page 173

Scientists at the University of California, Berkley, have recorded brain activity with functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) scanners when test subjects view photographs, and then used the records to determine what photographs the same subjects were viewing in a later test.

The scientists reported that under optimum conditions they were as much as 92% accurate in "reading minds," and as low as 33% accurate under somewhat less optimum conditions.

As these things inevitably go, I expect the scientists will eventually tweak their computer models until they are able to achieve at least 98% accuracy at predicting what you are thinking about. Which is probably sufficient to render thousands of undesirables to undisclosed locations, and, perhaps, administer lethal injections to hundreds more.

So stop thinking.

Political Prey

2008-04-14T14:46:00.001-05:00

All this folderol over Obama's "bitter" remarks reminds me of something my good friend Charles Cooper once said, "Politics is the pursuit of power by preying on people's prejudices."

I leave it to you to decide who's the predator and who's the prey.

100 More Years

2008-04-13T11:44:00.003-05:00

John McCain has said that it would be fine if America maintained a military presence in Iraq for 100 years.

When asked at a campaign event in New Hampshire in January to comment on President Bush's statement that the U.S. might be in Iraq for fifty years, McCain said,

"Make it a hundred. ... We've been in Japan for 60 years. We've been in South Korea for 50 years or so. That would be fine with me, as long as Americans, as long as Americans are not being injured or harmed or wounded or killed. It's fine with me and I hope it would be fine with you if we maintained a presence in a very volatile part of the world where al-Qaeda is training, recruiting and equipping and motivating people every single day"

(Watch the video here.)

I got to thinking, why a hundred years? Was it just a nice round number off the top of his head?

Think again.

What's there of value in Iraq?

How about 101 years worth of oil?

Iraq has estimated petroleum reserves of 115 billion barrels ( Oil & Gas Journal, January, 2007), and is currently extracting 3.7 million barrels a day (US Energy Information Authority, September, 2007). Dividing one by the other results in a estimated 101 years of petroleum in Iraq. (Wikipedia)

Still think McCain wants to stay in Iraq for 100 years to chase Bin Laden?

Further Proof the People Who Run this Country are Idiots

2008-04-02T21:45:00.002-05:00

Researchers at University of Nottingham, England, conducted an economics study where participants played a game involving, among other things, contributions to "the public good." Each player could contribute "tokens" to the public good. Each contribution was multiplied by 1.6 and then distributed evenly among the players. This was done each turn for ten turns.

After each turn, the amount each player contributed to the public good was revealed. Players could then pay to "punish" those who gave "too little" by a ratio of three to one; you pay one token to take take away three tokens from another player. (Science News, March 15, 2008, page 173. Web archive (requires subscription))

The researchers found that players from "democratic, market-based societies" (the United States, England, Germany) increase their contribution to the public good after being punished. The researchers surmise that these players felt guilty about letting the other players down. (After all, in the long run, everyone stood to benefit from contributing since the amount was increased and then given back to the players.)

But players from "traditional and non-democratic societies" (Saudi Arabia, Greece, Russia) behaved differently. After they were "punished," they retaliated by punishing those with contributed the most in subsequent rounds. Eventually no one contributed to the public good. The researchers concluded that "Such societies champion personal sacrifice on behalf of family and friends, so punishment by well-intentioned strangers elicited anger followed by revenge."

Let me repeat the conclusion of this study: punishment by well-intentioned strangers elicited anger followed by revenge.

Ahem.

Let's examine our stated course in Iraq, We invaded their country in order to remove a tyrant, free the people and bring democracy to their society. We did this (so we claim) with their best interests at heart. We, of course, expect them to be grateful for what we are doing for them. That is, after all, how we believe we would react. Their reaction?

Let me repeat the conclusion of this study: punishment by well-intentioned strangers elicited anger followed by revenge.

Still think this adventure in Iraq is going to end well?

The Imperial Fed

2008-03-19T10:12:00.001-05:00

I worry that when the Federal Reserve finally cuts the interest rates to zero, that eveyone will discover that the economy has no clothes.

Geraldine

2008-03-13T21:15:00.002-05:00

Keith Olberman of MSNBC (which Hillary says is out of get her) takes Mrs. Clinton to the wood shed for remarks said by Geraldine Ferraro, former Congressperson and Vice Presidential candidate.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qXBXD2zizIY

What I get from this flap is that Hillary might do whatever it takes to get elected President, perhaps even to the point of allowing it to appear that she is a closet racist in order to garner votes from those who feel racism is an appropriate political position.

What I find funny is that Hillary was a staff lawyer for the committee that attempted to indict Richard Nixon for doing whatever it takes to get elected.

How did that work out for Dick, Hill?

There is a point in time that integrity should be more important than winning. But I guess that might be too much to ask of a politician. After all, we just had another example of hypocrisy from a politician - NY Gov. Spitzer - who took one position publicly while practicing the exact opposite privately.

We expect better from our Presidents. Do we ever get it?

Our Long National Nightmare Continues

2008-03-05T18:59:00.002-05:00

Yesterday, defying the hopes and dreams of young people everywhere, Hillary Clinton won the Ohio and Texas primaries, thereby ensuring that the ground war for the US Democratic Presidential nomination continues, the political equivalent of Stalin's scorched earth policy.

It isn't like this sort of thing - an electorate not being able to make up its mind - hasn't happened before. Witness the last two Presidential elections, when the public was so undecided, the winner had to be chosen in the political equivalent of a coin toss. (Maybe the Republican Party should buy an NBA franchise.) Maybe the voting public is telling us that when you aren't given a real choice, how can you expect them to make a decision?

I am not sure that either Democratic candidate can win the election. In fact, I would say John "Bomb Bomb Iran" McCain is a shoo-in. Of course, in the interest of fairness, I must say that I am notoriously unreliable at picking the winner of a political contest. Has something to do with that "no real choice" thing, I guess.

I can't see Hillary Clinton winning the election. Part of her problem is that she is a woman. Not that I have anything against woman politicians, but a lot of other people do. Those people will vote against her just because of that.

Then there all the people who dislike her husband, and the policies of the Clinton administration. Yes, most of them are Republican. But a lot of "independents" voted for Bush both times around, and you have to believe a lot of them did that because they wanted something different from the Clinton agenda.

Do we need to talk about the Hillary scandals? Do the words "billing records," "Whitewater," and "cattle futures" ring a bell?

To me, Hillary's biggest liability is her demeanor. Hillary exemplifies the major qualification that anyone must have to become President of the United States: she is a hideously ambitious politician. Her problem, as Al Gore before her, is that it is painfully obvious that she is ambitious. She has never learned how to be an actor. Or maybe she learned to be a bad actor. Either way, no one believes her when she tries to be folksy and sincere.

In America, we like our politicians to act with humility, with pretenses of sincerity. We know it is all an illusion, but we approach politics like we approach a Hollywood film. Down deep we know they are phony, but we are willing to "suspend our disbelieve" as long as everyone gives a plausible performance of Jefferson Smith. Hillary's acting couldn't convince the family dog. She is all ambition, and we believe she would sell anyone out to be President. We are afraid it is us that she will sell out.

As for Obama, remember what I said about Hillary being a woman? Multiply that 100 times for Obama being black.

Obama reminds me of Eugene McCarthy. He is struggling against the system to change the direction the country - a behemoth that moves so slowly in any direction it is like molasses in the freezer - from simplistic, violent "solutions" to difficult, complicated pathways. Disengaging from Iraq will be difficult and it will be easy for simpletons to criticize. It will require courage unseen since Kennedy (and perhaps character unseen since Carter.)

Do you remember President Eugene McCarthy?

How about Presidential Nominee Eugene McCarthy?

Yeah, neither do I.

By the way, if Obama is McCarthy, then Hillary is Hubert Humphrey.

Obama has one thing going for him,: he hasn't been around long enough for his opponents to use his record against him. He is still a chameleon, a creature that can change to match his surroundings. But he is raw. And that will hurt when McCain asks who has the most experience.

McCain has two things in his favor which make him the favorite to succeed Augustus Bush. (That's a reference to Augustus Caesar in case it was over your head. Usually I don't bother pointing out the obscure references I use, but I wanted you to catch that one. Got it?)

First, he is not George W. Bush. He isn't even one of Bush's cronies. The country seems to have had enough of Bush. Even the Republicans have had enough of Bush. The failing economy - and it is going south rather quickly - ensures that Republicans are going to have a difficult time getting re-elected. And they are all going to blame Bush.

What the country wants is a change. McCain is enough of an outsider - a rogue if you will - that he does represent a change from George W. Bush.

How the hell did you think he got the Republican nomination? If things were going well economically, Romney would have gotten the nomination.

McCain staked out the "independent" Republican position years ago. No one else in the Republican Party can claim to be more of an outsider than McCain. He owns that territory.

The other thing McCain has going for him is that he is tough on terrorists. The Bush administration has been successful in scaring a lot of Americans. They are still afraid of Osama bin Laden. And they see McCain as the man to continue that fight, down to the last American teenager to die for his country.

For those reasons - McCain's outsider status and tough image on terrorists, and the Democrats' liabilities - I foresee another eight years of Republican rule. (Remember what I said about my ability to predict elections.)

Which means we are going to continue a flawed policy based on a faulty analysis of world politics and economics of attempting to bludgeon the Middle East into becoming some Disneyesque version of the Arabian Nights. That would ensure the free flow of oil and the continued American economic hegemony.

The rest of the world is not going to run its affairs the way America wants. Believing in this fantasy only means a prolonged period of heightened anxiety, stagnating economy, and ever increasing numbers of dead American youth.

Some day we will have to learn live with the world the way it is, and not try to force it to reconfigure itself into some vision of the American Dream. The trash bins of history are littered with civilizations which try to force everyone else to conform to their vision. And most of them were shocked and surprised when the rest of world turned on them and they became mere footnotes in history.

Oh course, I've been wrong before.

I Worry

2008-02-05T21:02:00.000-05:00

I worry that when the general US election finally comes around, we will have the choice between setting our country back to the early 1990's or to the early 1970's. I wonder if disco will be such a big hit this time around.

why we hate the patriots

2008-02-01T19:44:00.000-05:00

why do we hate the patriots?
it's simple
they're the enemy

I don't mean in the way that another sports team is the enemy of your sports team
that kind of animosity last one game
you win, you lose, it's over
on to the next game

hatred of the patriots runs deeper
it's more fundamental

the patriots are those spoiled privileged rich guys
who get everything they want
who take anything they want
and who don't have to pay consequences

like the roman empire
and we're the rest of the world

that's why we hate the patriots

they are the annoying, spoiled, cheating boyfriend
from that romantic comedy
who's going to get the pretty girl
and all the money
and all the fame
while grinding the deserving hero's face in the dirt

they are glenn from the wedding singer
count adhemar from a knight's tale
victor von doom from the fantastic four

you fill in the blank

most people
are only part time winners
most of us lose at least half the time
we work for somebody else
we don't have a lot of money
we are not the golden boy who has everything given to him
whether we deserve it or not

the patriots are the golden boys

most people
resent the privileged
the elite
the people who always come out of top
not because they deserve it
but because they can rig the game
they stack the deck
they always win
you always lose

those are the patriots

maybe it isn't so much that they win all the time
but that they gloat when the deed is done
they stomp on the other team's logo
they are insincere when they say they respect the other team
they talk about the adversity they have to overcome

hey
everyone knows they are the privileged elite
that's why randy moss is playing for substantially less than market value
because he knows that if he plays for the patriots
he will win
whether he deserves it or not
because that is the way the game is played
the elite always get what they want

anyway
that the way it seems

they are the donald trump of football
the paris hilton of sports
the oil sheiks of american culture

I Worry

2008-01-28T11:20:00.000-05:00

I worry that Barack Obama will turn out to be just another ego-centric, power hungry politician who will sell us out almost as much as I worry that if it looks like he might get elected someone will assassinate him.

fluffy's corner

2008-01-25T14:43:00.000-05:00

the 5 things the giants must do to beat the pats

- one -

they have to pressure brady
yeah, this was number one last week
how did that work out?
22 of 33
2 TD
3 interceptions

good but not enough
the giants will have to do more

- two -

eli has got to have a perfect game
d'oh

- three -

pound the hell out of those aging linebackers
run run run run

- four -

don't settle for field goals
go for it in the red zone on fourth down
starting in the first quarter

what cha go to lose?

- five -

hire tonya harding to break tom brady's legs

10 Spectacularly Bad Ideas from 2007

2008-01-22T11:53:00.000-05:00

1. Making it rain in a Las Vegas nightclub.

2. Rendition, extraordinary or otherwise.

3. Britney Spears

4. ESPN's "Who's Most Now"

5. Attempting to prove your liberal credentials by inviting Iranian President, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, to speak at your university and then attempting to curry favor with conservative donors by insulting him in your introductory remarks.

6. Microsoft Vista

7. Dogfighting

8. Warrantless wiretapping

9. Being an old buddy of O.J. Simpson

10. Alli

fluffy's corner - 1/18/2007

2008-01-18T20:32:00.000-05:00

the 5 things the chargers must do to beat the pats

- one -

they have to pressure the hell out of brady
seriously
when brady has all the time in the world
(see the jacksonville game)
he's perfect
if you can get a decent rush on him
he can be had

maybe

- two -

hope the wind in foxsboro is gusting over 25 mph

- three -

get the ball to darren sproles in space
seriously
this kid is a good returner
give him the ball out in the field
where he can act like a returner

he beat the colts with that play

- four -

get benny hinn and peter youngren to lay hands on
philip rivers, ladainian tomlinson, lorenzo neal, and antonio gates
and hope the heavens are merciful

- five -

hire tonya harding to break tom brady's legs

American Football

2007-12-10T21:28:00.000-05:00

Whom did the Patriots have to kill to get Wes Welker from the Dolphins? The Pats: 13-0; the Dolphins: 0-13. Coincidence?

And just how did the Patriots get Moss and Welker and Stallworth under the cap? Are they offloading salaries to the Red Sox?

What are the odds that Michael Vick finds Allah in prison?

Just Sayin'

2007-11-26T16:21:00.001-05:00

Did you ever notice that that global warming wasn't a problem until they started replacing all the paper towel dispensers in public restrooms with hot air hand dryers?

Thought for the day

2007-07-23T12:45:00.001-05:00

"Anyone who wants to go to war is a fool, anyone who wants to go back to war is just simply evil."
- JS Schilling

Scooter

2007-07-03T13:28:00.000-05:00

As if you needed a reminder that the System is different for the high and mighty.

Pride and Anger

2007-06-07T15:44:00.000-05:00

So... I am driving along and come to a stop light. On the car in front of me is a bumper sticker proclaiming the owner served in the Air Force during the Vietnam War, and is a "Navy Parent 2007." Expressing pride in service to one's country and the service of one's offspring is quite common in these parts. I think nothing of it.

However... There is another bumper sticker on the same car. This one says, "You are on Indian land." Obviously this sticker refers to the fact that before Europeans came to the North American continent, this land was the home of indigenous native American peoples. The Europeans and their descendents moved in and claimed the land for themselves, killing off most of the indigenous peoples and relocating the rest to "reservations," which were lands with little or no economic potential.

Now... I interpret the first set of bumper stickers as being prideful, and the other sticker as being wrathful. The owner of this car is proud to have served in the American military and is also angry at the fact that the same American military killed his ancestors and stole their land. Is that a fair assessment of the political sloganeering this vehicle is engaged in?

Seems to me... This is the equivalent of proclaiming you are a holocaust survivor who is as proud as punch to have served in the SS. Isn't it?

Baby Steelheads

2007-06-01T20:12:00.000-05:00

So, I am driving in northern Indiana, near Gary, and I see this billboard advertising a professional sports team. Part of the USBL. I guess that is some sort of minor league baseball, But I guess it could be bocci ball, or even snow boarding.

Anyway, the name of the sports team, this is a professional sports team, mind you, is the Baby Steelheads.

Now I ask you. What kind of name is Baby Steelheads?

Can you imagine going back to your high school reunion?

"And what are you doing?"
"I am playing professional ball."
"Really! For what team?"
"The Baby Steelheads."

Can you imagine the hilarity that would ensue, once your homies got wind of what your team's nickname is?

Actually, I looked it up (USBL), and it is the Gary Steelheads. But it looked like Baby Steelheads to me. You are what people think you are. Image is everything.

On the other hand, telling people you are a steelhead is bad enough.

The only thing worse is being traded to the Albany Patroons. Which, I am sure, is constantly confused with Spittoons.

"And what are you doing?"
"I am playing professional ball."
"Really! For what team?"
"The Patroons."
"The Spittoons?"
"No. No. The Patroons."
"Hey, everybody, Josh is a Spittoon!"

ESPN

2007-05-29T05:53:00.000-05:00

It's a good thing ESPN abhors dog fighting. Yesterday they were running a story about Michael Vick that appeared to be mostly an excuse to run video of dog fights. They must of shown clips of at least ten fights; the total running time of the clips had to be over a minute. And they ran the story about once an hour. Imagine what it would be like if liked dog fighting. All Michael Vick, all the time.

I worry...

2007-05-09T10:39:00.000-05:00

I worry that old age is a conspiracy by the pharmaceutical companies to make even more money.

Goodbye Blue Monday

2007-04-30T13:47:00.000-05:00

This was supposed to be the weekend I met Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

Indianapolis is honoring its native son with a year long celebration called "The Year of Vonnegut." The City selected Slaughterhouse Five as the book everyone reads and discusses this summer. Numerous lectures, art exhibits, workshops, etc. centered on Vonnegut's work have been scheduled.

The highlight was to be last weekend when he would participate in events around the city and be presented with honors for his contribution to American literature.

He didn't live that long.

Last Friday, Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. was to deliver the Marian McFadden Memorial Lecture sponsored by the Indianapolis/Marion County Public Library Foundation. Vonnegut had delivered the lecture once before in 1986. He would have been the only person to deliver it twice.

The library moved the lecture from its traditional venue to Clowes Memorial Hall on the campus of Butler University to accommodate the anticipated crowd.

Every year I give a little money to the library's foundation so I can get in early to their bi-monthly used book sales. That way you have a chance to pick up something before all the good stuff is gone. One perk of being a "Friend of the Library" is that you can reserve seats to the McFadden lecture before they are made available to the general public, and you get to sit up front.

I reserved two tickets for myself and my girlfriend. Good thing I did. Once tickets were available to the public, all 2000+ seats in Clowes Hall were taken in less than an hour.

Before the lecture, my girlfriend and I had a drink with one of her childhood friends, a cousin of Kurt Vonnegut. She is one of the "hardware" Vonneguts rather than an "architect" Vonnegut like Kurt. Nevertheless, she is family.

We sat in the third row among the Friends of the Library and several members of the extended Vonnegut clan.

The lecture opened with a recording of Kurt Vonnegut reading from Slaughterhouse Five. Apparently, Vonnegut had asked for this in lieu of the standard over-blown, accolade filled introduction. Mark Vonnegut, Kurt's son, read the speech Kurt had prepared for the lecture. It was found among his papers after his death along with some instructions to Mark on how to read it.

The lecture was poignant and painful, humorous and heartwarming. It consisted on bits and pieces from Vonnegut's latest book, A Man Without a Country, some reminiscing about growing up in Indianapolis, thoughts about writing and art, and praise for his children's accomplishments. In a particularly touching moment Mark had to read his father's exuberant praise for Mark's novel, The Eden Express. (Kurt's wants everyone to run out and buy a copy - not borrow, you understand, but buy. Now!)

Oh, and jokes. Lots of jokes.

Afterwards, the people we were with were invited backstage to meet Kurt's family. While my girlfriend and I went backstage, we felt awkward about intruding on the family's grief, so we didn't actually meet the family. I did get to meet Joe Petro, III, the artist who produces Vonnegut's silk screen prints.

Sunday, The Indianapolis Art Center hosted a brunch to honor Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. It was held in the room where his silk screen prints are being displayed. Again, because I give a little money to the Art Center, I was able to obtain tickets to the brunch before they sold out. Unlike the McFadden lecture, which was free, these tickets set me back $50 each. There were only 150 available.

Kurt was going to attend the brunch, undoubtedly say a few words, and then sign copies of A Man Without a Country. I planned to tell him that I am writing a novel, and that I was the sound engineer on a college film version of his short story, "Welcome to the Monkey House." I'm pretty sure we didn't have permission to film his story, but it would have been a connection.

Kurt's daughter, Nanny, and her husband, Scott Prior, both artists, along with Joe Petro, Kurt's print maker, attended the brunch. They reminisced about Kurt, his personal life, his art, and his family. They especially enjoyed telling stories about Kurt's sense of humor. Scott said that Kurt was the funniest person he had ever met.

I found it interesting that Kurt apparently had fun making art, but was miserable when he was writing. That's the word they used, miserable. You wouldn't think that someone so acclaimed for his writing would have been miserable when he wrote. But perhaps that is a measure of greatness, that you can persevere in spite of your suffering. No one ever said creation was painless.

Kurt Vonnegut was always one of those "cool" writers that did some interesting stuff, literary sci-fi I guess you'd call it. I always wanted to be like that, a writer writing cool stuff. Today I am trying to do just that. So far, I'm just trying.

I was somewhat inspired by the idea of Vonnegut being miserable, as strange as that sounds. I mean, writing is a struggle. You stare at a bunch of words you have just written and wonder: "What is it, really, that I just wrote? Does it make sense? Is it any good? What comes next?"

The idea of Kurt Vonnegut going through the same kinds of trials is comforting. It makes me think I might not be that much different.

Last weekend made me resolve to work harder, set targets, get stuff done. So what if it's hard and I suffer through it? Kurt would have persevered. And so should I.